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About The Bulletin. (Bend, OR) 1963-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 27, 2021)
THE BULLETIN • WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27, 2021 A7 DEAR ABBY GARDENING CORNER Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 Dear Abby: My husband and I have been close friends with a woman named “Lou- ise” for five years. Recently, we were all hanging out, and Louise got very drunk and tried to massage lotion into my husband’s hands. She also hugged him and wouldn’t let go, although he put his hands at his side and his whole body stiffened. My husband has expressed to me that these situations made him very uncomfort- able, and they do the same to me. We talked about let- ting Louise know, but he felt it would only make her feel awkward around us. It has been a month, and I can’t seem to let it go. I don’t want to text her, and I’m finding excuses to avoid her. Should I continue trying to let this go or is a conversation in order? — Taken Aback in New York Dear Taken Aback: If you “let it go,” it will probably hap- pen again and the friendship will be over. A conversation with Louise is overdue. She needs to know she must be more careful about her drink- ing, because the last time she became very drunk, she em- barrassed not only your hus- band, but also you. Dear Abby: I am childless, but I have a niece I’ve given lots of money to over the years. She’s in her mid-40s with a young child and a hus- band who has a low-paying job. Although she has sev- eral degrees, she has worked mostly as a waitress. They live in a tiny apartment and during these rough times, I have been paying their rent. She rarely acknowledges it. I have never discussed it with her parents, and I have no idea how much they have (or have not) helped her. TRUE DEFINITIONS I’m conflicted about helping her/them because this is such a tough time. I can’t see how they’re going to make their lives better without help. I’m wondering if you have some advice on how I can best assist them or if I should stop. — Losing Faith in Colorado Dear Losing Faith: You ha- ven’t spoken to your niece’s parents about what you have been doing. Why not? If you do, it may give you a clearer picture of her situation. I wish you had been more forthcom- ing about why she isn’t using any of the college degrees she has earned. If her parents are helping her, you may need to be doing less. Your niece should research to find out whether govern- ment assistance is available. If it isn’t, and you can afford it, consider continuing the fi- nancial assistance until the COVID-19 situation is under control. Then your niece and her husband can get back on their feet, and you can stop being treated like an ATM. Dear Abby: I have a male best friend I adore. When I tell other men about my bestie, they feel intimidated because he has a key to my apartment. We are not dating; we just have sex sometimes, and ev- eryone that I try to be with knows about him. Must I give up on my bestie to be with the man I love even though Bestie and I promised each other that we will never break our bond for anyone? — Complicated in Tennessee Dear Complicated: If you hadn’t been having sex some- times with your bestie, the “man you love” might have been able to accept him. The answer to your question is yes, you WILL have to make a choice. Now, the question I have for you is, which man do you think is the keeper? YOUR HOROSCOPE for the avid gardener BY LIZ DOUVILLE For The Bulletin he seed orders that were placed the first week in Janu- ary have been received with one exception of a tomato variety that was sold out in mid-De- cember. Now I fear I may be labeled as The Wicked Witch of the West for calling the seed company as many times as I have for an update on the restocking date. I asked to be put on list to be notified but they said no to that idea. Next on the list is to organize the tax file. That season is upon us al- ready. With this chore I am easily distracted and chose instead to go to the book shelf and pull out one of my favorites “A Gardeners Dictionary (A Dictionary for Weedpullers, Slug- crushers, & Backyard Botanists)” by Henry Beard and Roy McKie. Over the years I have quoted parts of the book. The quotes never get old and always bring a chuckle. Artichoke — The only vegetable as troublesome to eat as it is to grow. Beech — Nurseryman’s technical term for either: 1. A very difficult landscaping job or 2. A woman su- pervising such a job. Birch — The list of the 10 most common ornaments in American front yards is headed by the canoe birch, whose dazzling white bark is much prized. The rest of the list: blue spruce, dwarf red Japanese maple, Lombardy poplar, animal figurines, religious statuettes, gnomes, shiny globes on pedestals and yucca plants. Broccoli — Member of the cabbage family grown chiefly as receptacle for hollandaise sauce. Brochures & Catalogs — Forms of entertaining fiction published by nurseries, seedsmen, and tool man- ufactures. Bud Union — An organization of flower lovers. T The Bulletin file Cold Frame — Elaborate display case for showing off a gardener’s col- lection of freeze-dried specimens. Dividing — The assignment of separate garden sections to each member of the family. Forcing — The process of extract- ing work from teen-agers. Furrow — Horizontal line on fore- head of gardener. See Harrowing Garden — One of the vast number of free outdoor restaurants operated by charity-minded amateurs in an effort to provide healthful, balanced meals for insects, birds and animals. Gin — 1. Remarkable agricultural aid developed in the 19th century by Yankee tinkerers. 2. Remarkable ag- ricultural aid developed in the 18th century by British distillers. Green Thumb — Common condi- tion suffered by gardeners in which the skin of the thumb develops a greenish hue as a result of handling large amounts of currency at nurs- eries. Hardening Off — The process the Central Oregon gardeners go through over the years as they be- come resigned to the possibility of frosts in June, hail in July, frosts in August and the killing frost in Sep- tember that wipes out what wasn’t wiped out in previous events. (Con- fession: This definition is mine.) Hardy — A plant is said to be hardy if it remains alive in a nursery long enough to be sold. Harrowing — Type of gardening experience that produces furrows. Honesty — Very attractive tra- ditional plant with sweet-smelling purple and white flowers and papery seedpods. Some new varieties of this garden favorite are now available, including “Deniability,” “Point-in- Time,” “Best Recollection,” and “lim- ited Immunity.” Memorial Day Weekend — Tradi- tional planting time in many parts of the country. Monday After the Memorial Day Weekend — Traditional time to dig up and dispose of plants killed by unexpected hard frost the previous night. Pest — Any creature that eats green vegetables without being com- pelled to. Pinching — Pruning method de- veloped in Italian gardens Rot — Gardening advice. Wrest — Violent method of re- moving weeds, often confused with the forms of inactivity which proceed and follow it. Yard — 1. (Penology) Dusty open area where hard labor is performed. 2. (Horticulture) Dusty open area where hard labor is performed. The coffee cup is empty, we’ve taken time to pause and have a few giggles, now it’s time to get organized. By Madalyn Aslan Stars show the kind of day you’ll have õ õ õ õ õ DYNAMIC | õ õ õ õ POSITIVE | õ õ õ AVERAGE | õ õ SO-SO | õ DIFFICULT Boss HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR WEDNESDAY, JAN. 27, 2021: Preco- Continued from A5 cious, quick and playful, your talents manifest at an early age. You may have had to grow up too quickly. This year, accepting more responsibilities, hard as it is, assures your success. If single, you sweep others off their feet, but it takes until 2022 to find your true soul mate. If attached, you can play Peter Pan all you want and experience pure bliss. GEMINI is the most fun. ARIES (March 21-April 19) õõõõ This winter isn9t the best time for travel. Today brings substance to long-range plans. Goals are more reachable and clearly defined. The com- pany of the very old and the very young cheers and comforts you. Tonight: Friendship spans the generation gap gracefully. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) õõõõõ Pursue writing. Return calls and emails. You9re more cheerful and will be led to important sources of information, enabling you to find answers to burning questions. Ask a blessing on goals you want to accomplish during the year ahead. Tonight: Catch up with a neighbor. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) õõõ Today relates strongly to financial matters. Be aware of how current trends and new conditions can impact your earning ability. Resist the temp- tation to overspend. A relative or business associate affects your financial situation. Tonight: Talk it over with an elderly female family member. CANCER (June 21-July 22) õõõõõ Always tender and sensitive, you will feel the need to be protected from career stresses and demanding individuals and, today, harmony re- turns. Your cherished beliefs are supported, and you create success around your most important goals. Tonight: In wonderment. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) õõõ Background research and testing of techniques lead to success. Devel- op depth of concentration. Being alone will seem more enjoyable. You can create your own bliss or misery with the power of thought. Tonight: Keep a positive state of mind. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) õõõõõ Today makes it easy for you to promote beliefs and causes that are meaningful to you. Team spirit is strong, and you enlist the help of associates in realizing goals. It9s easier to make the right choices. Tonight: Communica- tion with those you care for improves. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) õõõõ Today underscores ambition and the need for accomplishment. Much will be expected of you. You will make plans regarding your career and revamp an existing job or seek a new one. Steady effort and patience lead to success. Tonight: Don9t rely on quick solutions. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) õõõõ Your acting ability and flamboyance will be expressed in your con- versations and emails today. Don9t adhere too closely to old habits and ideas. New information brings a different viewpoint to the fore. Tonight: Don9t resist the new order coming into your life. “Walking off that field that night I still remember one of my football coaches put his arm around me and said, ‘You know what Kevin, I don’t think this will be your last football game.’” Boss landed on Western Or- egon’s football and basketball teams. After a redshirt freshman season, Boss found himself in the starting lineup at tight end. The next step to the NFL was not a sure thing. That was until a scout was watching film in the Western Oregon tight end room evaluat- ing another player on a different team and saw flashes from No. 11 playing for the Wolves. “It was happenstance that he decided to watch the film in our tight end meeting room,” Boss recalled. “Long story short, he is watching the film while (the tight ends) are having a meet- ing on the side. I remember he turned around, looked at me and he goes, ‘Is that you out there, No. 11?’ And I was like ‘Yah.’ And he said: ‘You are go- ing to play in the NFL.’” Also discussed on Bulletin Sports Talk was the importance of being a multisport athlete in a world of sports specialization and the time he was fined by Tom Coughlin for not wearing thigh pads at practice during his rookie season with the Giants. e Reporter: 541-383-0307, brathbone@ bendbulletin.com õõõ Put spiritual values above the practical today. Ask questions and do research to resolve confusion. Inspirational ideas about your career path can set you apart from the crowd at work. Don9t be upset, though, if others have trouble understanding you. Tonight: Be very honest. õõõõõ Today an existing relationship develops new depths of beauty and tenderness, or you attract a new admirer. There is an end in sight to problems that have demanded your time and attention for the past couple of years. 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